


The Being Called Mrs. Cute Paws

by Daniscats



Series: The Incredible Story of Captain Shepard and the Love that Saved the Galaxy! Drabbles and Misc [20]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 11:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21117953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniscats/pseuds/Daniscats
Summary: Part of the Fictober challenge on the Facebook ME fan fic writer's page. The prompt was 'cat',  day 20. This is part of my larger story and fits maybe around chapter 75. You don't need to be familiar with the story to figure out what is happening here. More cultural misunderstandings for Shepard during her time on Thessia. Does anyone really know for sure that a cat is not a sentient being?





	The Being Called Mrs. Cute Paws

"Daddy! Daddy!" Shepard turned her head as her three daughters burst into the apartment yelling for her. "We found Mrs. Cute Paws!" 

"Where?!" That got Shepard's attention. They had been missing their new cat for a few days now and Shepard was terrified that she would have to have an awkward talk with her kids. Ironically, after a journey of thousands of light years from Earth, the damn fluff ball managed to get away the first day, before they were able to get her chip installed. "Why didn't you bring her home if you saw her? You couldn't catch her?" 

"She was with that rich, mean lady from the other apartment on our floor!" Benezia explained. 

"She means Matriarch Nurani." Jacey offered. 

"If she has our cat, why didn't you girls tell her it was your cat and ask for her back?" 

All three girls looked at each other. All were silent. Finally, Benezia spoke. 

"We had to protect Edi." 

"Yes, we were going to but Edi was afraid." Jacey confirmed. 

"Hey!" Edi protested. "You scared too!" 

"Look, I get that she's a little formal but she's not scary." 

"Daddy, she looks at me funny!" Benezia objected. "Like I'm a bug or something!" 

"I just don't think she likes children very much”, Shepard said. "It's been a long time since she has been around them and the couple that lived here before us didn't have any. You girls stay here. I'll go get Fluffy." 

"It's Mrs. Cute Paws, Daddy!", Edi corrected her. 

"Right." That's not an even sillier name, especially on Thessia, where there was no such thing as the honorific Missus, Shepard thought. "I'll go bring Mrs. Cute Paws home from the mean lady." 

"Be careful, Dad", Jacey warned earnestly. "She might be dangerous." 

"I think I can handle it. She's home now? With our cat?" 

"She's up top. In the garden." Jacey explained. "That area with the bar?" 

"The area that is strictly off limits to any resident under 40?" 

"We weren't playing there but once we saw Mrs. Cute Paws, we had to investigate!" Jacey objected. 

"So, she was just in this common, public area with our cat? Who would take a cat up to the gardens? It's not like it's a dog you can take for a walk." Shepard asked but then shook her head. "Never mind, I'll just go see for myself. Better if I can catch her there before she goes back home anyway." 

Shepard walked out of the apartment, rode the elevator up one floor and stepped out. The swanky apartment building roof had an emergency skycar landing in one area but most of it was consumed by a garden with walking paths, a lounging area and a bar. Shepard never came up here but the girls seemed to love exploring the 'wild forest'. 

She made her way over to the bar area. Near the bar was a grouping of chairs and tables. At one of the tables, Matriarch Nurani was seated and sipping the tea in front of her. Next to her, Mrs. Cute Paws was standing on a chair with her front 'cute paws' on the table so that she could eat from the dish there. The Matriarch was talking non-stop. There was no one else around with the bartender back at the bar and not within casual conversation range. Shepard quietly moved closer to investigate. 

"I told the matriarchs repeatedly that we needed to move quickly when the reapers arrived. We needed to evacuate as many as possible as quickly as possible. Some were arguing that we had to stay to defend our home world but what is a silly planet compared to our entire race? What is it compared to our entire civilization? There are millions of garden planets out there but only one asari!" 

Mrs. Cute Paws just continued to eat from the dish in front of her. The Matriarch continued with her monologue. 

"I'm so glad you are enjoying your Kelpi fish. It is an acquired taste for only the most discerning palates. I knew you would like it!" 

The fluffy black cat looked up and licked her mouth thoroughly with her tongue but soon returned to her dish. Matriarch Nurani put her hand on one of the animal's 'cute paws'. The cat stopped eating long enough to rub her face over the asari's hand before again returning to her fish. 

"I don't know why you walked into my life but I am so happy that you did. I know it must be frustrating for you not to be able to communicate with me as I don't know your language but I hope, at some point, you will allow me to combine my consciousness with yours as all true friends do? But I know that we just met so I would never risk making you feel uncomfortable by rushing that. I want you to know that I do understand you, despite our language barriers. And I value you as an individual, different species though we may be." 

What the fuck?! Was she talking about melding? With a cat? Shepard thought, deciding that she could delay no longer. She walked up to the table. 

"Excuse me, Matriarch Nurani. This is my cat. I'll be taking her home now. Thank you for feeding her." 

"I'm sorry, Katherine", the asari said it like she was speaking to a child. "What are you talking about? That word that you used? Cat? It didn't translate." 

Shepard picked up Mrs. Cute Paws as the Matriarch gasped. 

"That's because you don't have cats or any equivalent on Thessia. It's an Earth pet. I bought her. She belongs to me. I'm taking her home." 

"What?! She does not belong to you or anyone else! You cannot own another intelligent being. I realize that you are a human but we asari do NOT allow slavery on Thessia or any of our other worlds. I will call the authorities if you do not put my friend down right now!" 

"Except Illium. Only you call it indentured servitude but same thing. And while some argue that cats are the most intelligent pets, they are still pets." 

"What are you saying? This creature is sentient!" 

"No. It's not. It's a pet. It's like a varren. Did you notice that she wasn't saying much? Sentient beings all communicate." 

"You show your ignorance! All sentient beings communicate but not all races communicate verbally. She was communicating with me. Look in her eyes! Tell me that is not an intelligent creature! She is no different than the Imoh who communicate through body movements and the release of pheromones." 

"That might be true about the Imoh. But this is a cat. It is a pet from Earth. And it is our pet that we purchased and had shipped all the way from Earth for our girls. I thank you for looking after her but she'll be coming home with me now." 

"You have not heard the last of this, Shepard! I will rescue my friend!" 

"Whatever, Lady. You should be thanking me that I got here before you melded with a flipping cat! I bet that would have gone over real well with the other matriarchs!" 

_________________________ 

About three weeks later, Shepard was sitting in the kitchen when she heard the door chime. She went to the front door to find Matriarch Nurani standing at her door. The asari shoved a datapad at Shepard and without thinking, Shepard took it. 

"Your prints have been scanned and the proof uploaded to the courts. This is your official notice of service." 

"What? What are you talking about? What is this?" 

"I told you this wasn't over. Read it yourself." 

Shepard scanned the document. 'Whereas the Plaintiff bonded with the being called Mrs. Cute Paws, known to Plaintiff as Fales, for almost a week...And whereas, the Plaintiff and the being called Fales would suffer irreparable harm from any further separation....it is hereby ordered that the Defendant share custody of said being until the case can be litigated in full and judgment rendered by this court.' Shepard looked stunned as the woman moved around her and entered the apartment. 

"Now, will you be relinquishing custody of Fales to me today", the matriarch said, almost able to keep the smug smile off her face, "or should I get the Constable to come effectuate the exchange tomorrow?" 

________________________ 

About a week later, Shepard and the girls walked across the hall to the other penthouse apartment. Shepard brightly rang the chime. A moment later, Matriarch Nurani opened her door. Shepard smiled and handed the cat carrier to her. 

"Here you go, Matriarch. As scheduled. Go ahead, girls! Make yourselves at home. Come back home when you are ready." 

The girls moved around the asari and ran into her apartment. The Matriarch's face dropped and she sputtered. 

"I did not invite you OR your children into my home! I have never seen such an outrageous breach of etiquette." 

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Nurani!" Shepard's smile grew even wider as she passed a datapad into her hands. 

"What is this?" 

"Read it yourself!" 

Shepard watched as the asari's eyes moved back and forth across the document. 'Whereas this custody dispute is unlikely to be resolved quickly...whereas the T'Soni children have bonded with the _ pet _ named Mrs. Cute Paws...whereas any separation between the _ very young _ minors and their pet might lead to irreparable harm...whereas said pet is now alternating residence at the domiciles of both the Plaintiff and the Defendant... it is hereby ordered by this court that the children retain unfettered access to Mrs. Cute Paws on any day when said pet is not at the T'Soni residence.' 

The Matriarch glared at Shepard and opened her mouth to speak but instead she just continued to stare at her silently, challenging her. 

“Oh my Goddess!” Benezia yelled from inside the apartment. “Look at the size of her vid screen!” 

The other girls squealed and began rummaging through the objects on the table in front of the vid screen. 

“Where’s remote?” Edi asked loudly. “I want toons!” 

Suddenly, Benezia came running back to the doorway and threw her arms around the asari, causing her to stumble forward a step. With a visible effort on her face, she continued to stare at Shepard. 

“Thanks for letting us come over to visit Mrs. Cute Paws! It’s going to be so much FUN coming over here every other day! Do you have any Cheesy Shurt Snacks? I love Cheesy Shurt Snacks!” 

Finally, the Matriarch’s face and eyes fell. She looked from Shepard to the child clinging to her middle, back to Shepard, then to the cat still in its carrier, then to the two children still picking up nearly every item in her living room, and then finally back to Shepard before she silently handed the cat carrier back to her. 

"Good news, Girls! Nurani has agreed to let us keep Mrs. Cute Paws all to ourselves, all the time. Let's go home. Oh, and don't forget to say 'thank you' to Nurani!" 

With that, the other two girls ran into the asari, throwing their arms around her. Shepard decided that the look on the Matriarch’s face wasn’t quite a grimace as they left to return to their apartment. 


End file.
